NIRVANA Guilt

Written by Jordan Ardanaz
Sassed up by Monika Loevenmark
Rebutted by Jordan Ardanaz

Jordan: I turned 27 recently, an age causing a pause for reflection before the start of the slippery slope into 30.  During my moment of introspection I realized that there have been few things that I arrived at relatively late in life: skateboarding, guitar, realizing that olives are delicious…Nirvana. Yea, so here’s the thing: I never listened to Nirvana. (BOOM!) I’m just going to give you a sentence or so to let that sink in. Ok good. 
Monika: Respect. (verbal fist-pound)
Jordan: So yes, I never listened to Nirvana. 
Monika: Outrageous.  
Jordan: Yeah... anyways, so Nirvana, probably one of the most profoundly influential bands of the last 20 years. Nirvana, the band who’s primary talent sculpted the mushy minds of millions of wasted youth, pouring a syrupy, screaming disdain into their ears while essentially creating a genre that almost overnight and changing the musical landscape of the western world.  
Monika: That’s a fairly bold statement.  
Jordan: I’m an Old Spice man. Ok so that’s a bit carried away, 
Monika: yes, yes it is… 
Jordan: but come on don’t kid yourself, that’s how stoked people get about Nirvana.  
Monika: OK, so the thing is, yes Nirvana created a shift in commercial music, (radio-friendly music,) but look to the Pixies, or the Melvins (hardcore example). Nirvana was not the first band to throw out this Grunge sound. I’m going to assume that you are referring to their ‘new’ sound. Nirvana in my opinion did not change the music scene overnight, they merely garnered enough commercial success to be proclaimed as doing such. They actually followed in a long list of Seattle bands…and for the record, Kurt –yes we’re on a first name basis- hated that term and rejected it whole-heartedly. He told me so.
Jordan: I like the Melvins, the kicking machine is the raddest song ever written.
Before you get going (because some of you that I know already have, Monika), I have obviously heard most Nirvana songs through radio and countless friends force-feeding me. Hell, even Gus Van Zant. What I mean of course is that I have never owned, downloaded, borrowed or even attempted to invest any time in my life to absorbing Curt Cobain,
Monika: I have to interrupt to tell you that you just spelt Kurt with a ‘C’. Wow.
Jordan: (Sometimes I spell my name with a G just to spice things up.)
Im going to continue...so I never spent time with Kurt Cobain, Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic’s musical lovechild that they, in a drug induced stupor no doubt, left on our collective doorstep, rang the doorbell and missed 15 beautiful years of maturing, playing sports and learning about girls.
Monika: I need to interrupt: Dave was kind of an after thought in the band, as much as I love Dave Grohl, his presence in the band wasn’t really felt until In Utero-he followed in a long line of axed drummers. Just Sayin'. Ok, continue...
Wait a tic, is that why I never listened? Yes. Honestly, yes. I hate it when people force excitement on me, especially with music. I’m prone to do just the opposite (“Oh man you gotta check this band, you’ll totally love it” [No…I won’t]). Yes this means two things: I need to experience culture on my own terms and I have the maturity of a 12 year old. 
Monika: True story.
Jordan: Recently however this changed as a friend of mine cleverly capitalized why yes, yes I did on one of my fundamental weaknesses... pretty girls
Monika: hmmm
Jordan: busted! and she convinced me that I actually wanted to, and that it was absolutely worth my while to make up for my lost Nirvana years. So I fell for it finally. Though I held on to some of my reservations and decided to circumvent the system by downloading (the shame!) all three main albums Universal has enough money on this, and hell, I’ll probably buy the overpriced reissue vinyl in a month like I always do anyways…  
Monika: think of Sub Pop collecting the rolyalties and have pitty... So, in regards to your last statement, I would just like to add that I fully concur about Universal having enough money to keep on keepin’ on while you steal music. The whole argument about stealing music making for bankrupt labels is a bunch of BS. Here’s the thing, (and I’m about to go off on a tangent). Allison Outhit of Exclaim monthly national writes, “[big companies] argue that if creators don’t make their nickel a copy, they will stop creating and there will no more music ever.” But these companies got rich by not paying artists, so what’s their point? Artists are called such because they feel compelled to create, and create they will with or without company funding. So Jordan, I salute your honesty… even though you are stealing from the pockets of our artists! Kidding. P.S. check out the new proposed copyright Bill C-32.
Jordan: Phew. So I dug in deep one week. Decided to hit the sauce hard (Nirvana, not booze. My alcoholism is reserved for social affairs). In order of what I’m meant to understand the best to least-best albums were, I decided to check out Nevermind through Bleach. Some serious listening ensued. For the most part I was actually hearing these albums for the first time, despite all of the radio singles and a few album cuts I sort of know (I’m not a hermit).  I consciously put effort into removing the shade of preconception that every radio DJ I’ve ever heard has placed over Kurt Cobain’s amp (the kind that filters the frequencies that Jordan can hear).
Now, I’m actually going to save you from any description of the music. You all apparently know it all by now anyways, and it would be completely obnoxious of me to assume that me describing Nirvana’s music would be more interesting than ignoring me. This would be much like a blind person who can see for the first time trying to explain how rad the sky is. So ya, I have listened and I have heard the word. And the word is good. 
Monika: Nice biblical reference. Dave Grohl is my God.
Jordan: To my surprise however, I honestly can’t listen to Nevermind.
Monika: holy shit, really? REALLY? Jordan: Yup, what can I say I’ve been beaten over the head with it for so many years that I can recite every melody from every single off that album without knowing the name of any song. I have assumed, like most would in my situation (feel for me here people), that the rumbling caused by the 1991 Nevermind earthquake was due to too many people’s minds being blown at the same time, and that this happened for a good reason (ever see that rad video of the shaking bridge? That was Nevermind. You can’t engineer against rocking too hard apparently). To my virgin ears however the raw energy that was in fact the awesome of the band is only captured within the sonic frameworks of the Jack Endino cut Bleach.
Monika: Okay, so you prefer a rougher sound, an ‘underground sound’ – yeah, yeah. You’re a music elitist. Yes, Nevermind has a more accessible sound, but as per the usual, that wasn’t the band’s intent. I take serious offense to the title of this paragraph. Ha! Nirvana absolutely did not (this is based on factual opinion) ‘cash-in’ purposely actually. They were incredibly picky about what label they signed with, and actually went with a label who low-balled them with their $ offer, opting to go with the label with the most street cred. Major respect.
Jordan: Ouch, you’re coming at me with knives here. What I’m saying is that energy in a performance is more important to me than technique (if both happen that’s rad). I love all types of music, pop or not, but all that I want to see in an artist is the art coming through every pore of their body. I think sometimes production can kill the moment. Sometimes production can be brilliant, but in this case production tries to squeeze the energy into a small space to fit as many different tastes as possible. 
Monika: Hmm, well, yes you have a point. But I maintain that Nirvana had more of a backbone than to let the label over-produce their album. From my exteeeensive research, I deduce that Nirvana had enough strength to dictate the outcome of their album, and even hand-pick the producer and engineer. Ohh snap!
Jordan: Which made me pause and reconsider what I thought I knew about Nirvana. Was Nevermind the groundbreaking mind-blower that I assumed it was based on all of the radio play? Or was it a penance to the record company that, in order to be allowed to freely express the bottled energy of the band’s performance hidden inside their songs, Nirvana had to sell something easily consumable first. (the horror!) No wonder Cobain lost it. 
Monika: Oh, harsh. Kurt Cobain didn’t lose at one point, he was always depressed. This was nothing new.
...Well Jordan, until next time... and in the meantime I sincerely hope you give Nevermind a second, third, and fourth listen!